Oh my.

I suppose this has fallen into "Another Blog Jess Has Neglected" category.

I'll work to remedy this.

Word Vomit.

thinking
thinking
of something
of anything
The pain in my back
the music playing
my hpone beside me
pen in hand
moving acrosse my fingers
twirling
twirling
vibrations, my phone
i wish
nothing
fan circulating
humid air
windows open
sweat pools
pen slips
it falls
palms sweating
thinking
getting nowhere
morning comes
and i've got nothing
just sweat

Saraswati.

I saw my Uncle Dave today for the first time in years. He's Hare Krishna and the gift he gave me is the best gift I received. It's a green statue of Saraswati, the goddess of Knowledge and Wisdom. He told me that students in India keep a stutue of her in their dorm rooms to guide them in their studies. Also the students will go to her shrine before exams and write things on the wall of the temple, things like "Help us on our tests." I thought it was amazing. I'm going to take her to college with me. Maybe she'll help me.

--संस्कृत--
या कुंदेंदु तुषारहार धवला, या शुभ्र वस्त्रावृता या वीणावर दण्डमंडितकरा, या श्वेतपद्मासना
या ब्रह्माच्युतशंकरप्रभ्रृतिभिर्देवै: सदा वन्दिता सा मां पातु सरस्वती भगवती नि:शेष जाड्यापहा
हिंदी अनुवाद:
जो कुंद फूल, चंद्रमा और वर्फ के हार के समान श्वेत हैं, जो शुभ्र वस्त्र धारण करती हैं
जिनके हाथ, श्रेष्ठ वीणा से सुशोभित हैं, जो श्वेत कमल पर आसन ग्रहण करती हैं
ब्रह्मा, विष्णु और महेश आदिदेव, जिनकी सदैव स्तुति करते हैं
हे माँ भगवती सरस्वती, आप मेरी सारी (मानसिक) जड़ता को हर कर, मेरा पालन करें

Yaa Kundendu tushaara haaradhavalaa, Yaa shubhravastraavritha
Yaa veenavara dandamanditakara, Yaa shwetha padmaasana
Yaa brahmaachyutha shankara prabhutibhir Devaisadaa Vanditha
Saa Maam Paatu Saraswatee Bhagavatee Nihshesha jaadyaapahaa

English Translation:

"May Goddess Saraswati, who is fair like the jasmine-colored moon, and whose pure white garland is like frosty dew drops; who is adorned in radiant white attire, on whose beautiful arm rests the veena, and whose throne is a white lotus; who is surrounded and respected by the Gods, protect me. May you fully remove my lethargy, sluggishness, and ignorance."

The Green Fairy at 3am.

Last night, when I couldn't sleep, I was looking through a book that a friend of mine gave me, "Classic Posters of the Belle Epoque." I came across a few for Absinthe and decided to do my own based off of the style. Here's what happened....

We're still out at 10 in the evening.

A new day, hoping for sleep, but sleep isn't coming. Sleep won't come. It will continue to taunt me. It will dangle dreams on a string in front of me. I'll run after it and never get any closer. My fingertips reach out to touch it and like smoke it passes through my fingertips. I want a cigarette.